Thursday, August 04, 2005
Ramblings of a jobless nut
Life's a bliss lately. Get to sleep late, hang around and basically vegetate in front of tv without a care to anything. I'm free to run my errands, free to go wherever I want, nobody to breathe down my neck and no deadline to meet....what more can I ask for? But I know my piece of heaven I'm having now is shortlived and soon I'll need to return to the daily grind. Sigh.....time has a way of sneaking at you real fast when u're having a good time. Makes me afraid of even blinking my eyes and losing a second of the elusive freedom.
I'll be starting work on 15th and gotta admit I'm feeling rather apprehensive at the prospect of the new job. My primary job function is to supervise the production floor. The problem is I've always been a reluctant team player and I feel most at ease when I work alone and have no real need to deal with colleagues or people in general. This time there would be headache inducing 100++ workers to handle, each with different level of discipline, maturity and personality. And the worse thing is they are all locals so indiscipline and absentisms are usually the main problems faced. As the days draw nearer and realisation sinks in, I'm beginning to doubt if I'd be able to handle my new job. You see, I'm not a leader-material, far from being a disciplined worker myself, a cannot-be-saved procrastinator with a devil may care attitude and heck I even finished my assignments in a slip shod manner! So how on earth am I gonna pull my act up and lead these 100+ people? And oh....my human-management skill sucks too. Did I just jumped into the frying pan?
Had a long conversation with my boss from the scrap metal company. Felt really sorry for turning down his offer but he gentlemanly (is there such word?) accepted but before lecturing me for 45 minutes with the company's impressive prospect and future plan of public listing. Gotta admit if I join this company I would have learnt a lot from him. He is one of the most workaholic, driven and results-orientated person I've ever come across and he expects 110% from all his employees. That is something I can't give. However much I believe in working towards a goal or monetary reward, I won't sacrifice the time for myself, family and friends. Maybe if I was given the same opportunity when I was 25, there won't be any hesitation grabbing this golden chance. I'd jump at any opportunity to learn about the trading and investment world.........but too bad, fast forward 6 years, now I don't have the drive and commitment anymore. Most importantly, I don't have the guts anymore. Since young I've always done things my way and had it easy thus it somehow gave me a false sense of invincibility. Thought I could do it all and nothing can bring me down. Well I was wrong. Fell hard. It took me some painstaking effort to finally climb back. And I do not ever wish to fall ever again. So I chickened out on him.
Am I turning into a unaspiring, dull and boring worker I used to detest so much? Am afraid I am. I like myself more at 25.
I'll be starting work on 15th and gotta admit I'm feeling rather apprehensive at the prospect of the new job. My primary job function is to supervise the production floor. The problem is I've always been a reluctant team player and I feel most at ease when I work alone and have no real need to deal with colleagues or people in general. This time there would be headache inducing 100++ workers to handle, each with different level of discipline, maturity and personality. And the worse thing is they are all locals so indiscipline and absentisms are usually the main problems faced. As the days draw nearer and realisation sinks in, I'm beginning to doubt if I'd be able to handle my new job. You see, I'm not a leader-material, far from being a disciplined worker myself, a cannot-be-saved procrastinator with a devil may care attitude and heck I even finished my assignments in a slip shod manner! So how on earth am I gonna pull my act up and lead these 100+ people? And oh....my human-management skill sucks too. Did I just jumped into the frying pan?
Had a long conversation with my boss from the scrap metal company. Felt really sorry for turning down his offer but he gentlemanly (is there such word?) accepted but before lecturing me for 45 minutes with the company's impressive prospect and future plan of public listing. Gotta admit if I join this company I would have learnt a lot from him. He is one of the most workaholic, driven and results-orientated person I've ever come across and he expects 110% from all his employees. That is something I can't give. However much I believe in working towards a goal or monetary reward, I won't sacrifice the time for myself, family and friends. Maybe if I was given the same opportunity when I was 25, there won't be any hesitation grabbing this golden chance. I'd jump at any opportunity to learn about the trading and investment world.........but too bad, fast forward 6 years, now I don't have the drive and commitment anymore. Most importantly, I don't have the guts anymore. Since young I've always done things my way and had it easy thus it somehow gave me a false sense of invincibility. Thought I could do it all and nothing can bring me down. Well I was wrong. Fell hard. It took me some painstaking effort to finally climb back. And I do not ever wish to fall ever again. So I chickened out on him.
Am I turning into a unaspiring, dull and boring worker I used to detest so much? Am afraid I am. I like myself more at 25.
kc 12:36 AM
1 Comments:
I stumbled randomly across your journal and I have to say that I really enjoyed your blogs..
